Bridesmaid left wanting to 'bash head into wall' after row over dress colour

We’ve all been there, or know someone who has. The bride-to-be is choosing her bridesmaid dress styles and colours, and you’ve got your eye on one in particular because you know it’ll suit your skin tone so much.

But what if the bride and the rest of the bridal party

were just ghosting your messages requesting to know what colour dress to buy?

Yeah, we’d be annoyed too.

That's what one fuming bridesmaid claims happened to her and she shared all in a recent Reddit post.

She wrote: “I’m currently in medical school and live across the country from my brother/family. I was surprised when his fiancé asked me to be a bridesmaid because I barely know her, but she wants to have all siblings in the wedding.

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“I made it clear that their wedding was during my final exam week, and while I was able to get an accommodation to take my last two exams early I still wouldn’t be able to help much with planning or be present at things like a bachelorette party/bridal shower.

“She said this was fine, it would mostly just be to have an even number of bridesmaids to groomsmen and for pictures.

“There’s a group chat that was created months ago that I would read through every couple of days to get updates on things I needed to do, namely to order a bridesmaid dress. Links were sent with three styles to choose from and we would be updated on colours later.

“So a couple weeks go by and I ask what colour to order, bride says she still thinking about it. Couple more weeks go by and she's still thinking… then a couple more weeks. You get the idea.

“Now it’s at the point that if I don’t order this dress in a couple of days it won’t be here in time. So I ask on Saturday what colour. No response in the group chat to me.

“I asked again yesterday what colour do I need to order? Then I’m flooded with messages lambasting me for not ordering a dress yet, from her sisters and my sister and her. My sister called me, told me to 'get my s**t together' and 'order a dress already' because my lack of preparedness is causing the bride intense anxiety because she doesn’t think my dress will be here on time for the wedding now.

“She texted me this morning, 'don’t forget to order your dress, love you' with smiling and kissing emojis.

“Still, no one has told me what colour! I’ve scoured the group chat for a mention of dress colours or an image of a dress but only the maid of honour sent a photo of her dress and I don’t know if she has a special colour.

“There are thousands of messages so it’s not simple to find anything. Everyone else can meet in person so I assume the decision on colour was relayed in person. I can’t tell if I’m being purposefully excluded?

“About an hour ago my brother called me pleading with me to work things out with the bride because she’s panicking about me. I tried to explain this to him and he told me he doesn’t care, it's a petty lady's issue, and since I’m not there for anything else this is the least I can do because the bride thinks I don’t like her because I wouldn’t come to anything.

“He’s taking her side. They know I’m in medical school, and I have literally no say in my schedule. And I’m on the other side of the country, 5.5 hours by plane.

“I’m fed up with them and contemplating telling my instructors the wedding was moved and I will take my exams at the regular time. I’d have more time to study that way anyway. I haven’t told anyone in my family I’m considering this. Would I be in the wrong?”

She then provided eager Redditors with an update on the dress colour drama, and it only gets worse…

She wrote: “I called my mother and asked her what colour the bridesmaid dresses are, she said lavender. The only colour options on the website that I would call lavender are named pearly lilac, periwinkle, and orchid purple.

“I texted the maid of honour (bride’s sister) to ask what dress colour and got a multi-paragraph long lecture about not having ordered my dress yet.

“She said she didn’t remember the shade name but it's a 'dusty purple' then sent a blurry picture of a wrinkled order confirmation, the shade name was mulberry.

“On the dress website that is a darker wine/purple colour. I told her this and she said to order the lighter dusty purple colour.

“I sent her a screenshot with the list of shade names and asked, 'which of these?” She said she didn’t know because everyone ordered their dress so long ago and asked for pictures of the dresses in different shades from the website.

“So I sent screenshots of all the light purple colours. No response for a while so I called her on the phone, which she was upset about because it's past 10pm over there now. Her response was 'look, I don’t care what your problem is with me and my sister but if you want to stay in good standing with this family you need to get your ducks lined up girly.'

“I want to bash my head into a wall!

“I called my second brother, the one not getting married. He said they’re pulling similar things with him and he feels like he was deliberately given the wrong dates for the bachelor party by the best man (bride’s brother) so that he would miss it.

“He inadvertently learned about the changed date the morning of and when he asked the best man he told him it must have slipped his mind to tell him. Then joked that he wouldn’t have missed much since he probably won’t enjoy any of the festivities anyway.

“They’ve been making homophobic jokes and comments to him that he’s been ignoring but he thinks they’re trying to get him to back out of the wedding. So if we both back out then there will be an even number of bridesmaids to groomsmen again. Only speculation on our parts of course.”

People jumped to the bridesmaids' defence, letting her know she wouldn’t be in the wrong for not wanting to participate in the wedding.

One wrote: “Holy s**t the update is insane. This bride and her family are wackadoodle. They asked her to be in the wedding. She lives across the damn country and is attending med school-which is hard as f**k .

"She told them what her boundaries were and they can’t be ass fucked to even take a damn picture of one of their stupid a**ed, ugly will never wear it again dress that probably costs a ton of money so she knows what one to order.

“On top of that, they are now lecturing her and acting like she begged to be in this s**tshow wedding and they have bent over backwards to accommodate her when all she has asked for IS WHAT IS THE FREAKING COLOUR OF THE DRESS YOU WANT ME TO WEAR.

“It is literally the easiest question to answer. I would drop out, especially after hearing what they did to her brother and the homophobia. F**k this zilla and her brother and OP’s brother too.”

Another fumed: “I am pretty sure they are excluding both her and her brother purposely. Screenshot all the messages (if any) of them suggesting different colours for the bridesmaid dresses.

"And ask your brother to to do the same regarding dates and the homophobic comments. Back out of the wedding and concentrate on your exams OP. They are your future. Because trust me, your Future SIL doesn't give a s**t about you and is lowkey trying to kick you out/exclude you from the wedding.

Someone else wrote: “You don’t even need all that. Just tell them that you ordered the dark blue dress already & it should be here just in time… I’m sure they’ll get back to you incensed about what colour it should be.”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.