Could You Be Sabotaging Yourself In The Name Of Self-Care?

Google the words self-care and you will enter the kindest place on the Internet.

You will be flooded with a plethora of quotes like, "Be kind to yourself" or my favourite, "If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive".

While for some it might be a little too much but it feels nice. Especially when we are so used to putting others before yourself.

So a little push is necessary when it comes to showing ourselves some lovin'.

While more and more people get on the self-care bandwagon--saying no to things you don't want to do, or treating yourself every now and then, even sleeping more--I can't help but wonder, when does self-care become self-sabotage?

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A very basic view of self-care has been presented up to now: taking long, hot baths, indulging in expensive spa sessions and chilling with friends. In other words, self-care is any habit or action that promotes or enhances your well-being. While all these activities and luxuries are a part of self-care, it's important to know that just because something feels good, doesn't mean it's necessary helping.

For instance, a few years ago I had genuinely started to believe that travel is good for me, my heart and soul. So I started to travel whenever there was something to celebrate and whenever there was something that broke my heart.

I fought with my sister, I went for a trip to Singapore. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I flew to Bombay. I constantly started to run away in the name of 'it makes me feel good'. Instead, I should have stayed home, sorted issues and stood my ground. Maybe I wouldn't know loneliness then, like I do today.

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One of my closest girlfriends believed that a glass of wine was the best way she could relax and unwind after a stressful day. She would drink on days she was happy and on days when she was sad.

What started off as one glass soon turned into two, three and then an entire bottle. And instead of talking about what was wrong--why she and parents don' talk or how she missed the promotion she was really gunning for--she would drink away her worries only to develop a drinking problem.

Why did she start rewarding herself with one glass of wine? Well because she 'deserved it' and it was what she thought to be the only way to take care of herself.

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Very often self-sabotage conceals itself as self-care. We misuse self-care strategies to numb ourselves instead of solving issues by identifying their root causes. Instead of working on enhancing our well-being we turn to drinking, travel, fitness etc to cure ourselves. The focus shouldn't be running away from yourself but understanding yourself, nourishing yourself. That will be truest form of self-care and self-love.