Feeling happy for your best friend when they’re in love is a very natural reaction. Whatever makes them smile automatically becomes a source of happiness for you too.
Unfortunately, as much as we would like for things to always go our way, they don’t. Since our best friend is an individual with preferences of their own, it’s not necessary that they will end up dating someone we definitely will get along with.
But nothing sucks more than your BFF hopping on the cupid train with someone you detest.
For most people, their best friend is probably like their family and if I have to speak for myself, I talk to my bestie much more than I talk to anybody else in the world.
Now, imagine having someone around all the time but all of a sudden they’ve grown an extra limb, which you find extremely unnecessary. Especially, when it’s a new relationship and said girlfriend or boyfriend is going to accompany your best friend everywhere you go.How is one supposed to approach such a situation? Do you make your disapproval obvious? Do you, unlike every other time, not express your true feelings to your BFF?
Let's just say it is a tricky situation, one with several outcomes but none very pleasant.
You can either choose to be a complete dick about the situation and put your best friend in a corner but that won’t speak very highly of you. Or you can be mature about the whole dynamic of your relationship with their partner and not act on it.But can one really force themselves to behave a certain way if they don’t really want to?
So, now that we're adults are we supposed to not put our feelings first? If you're thinking 'yes,' congratulations! You’ve already won at life. But if it's thumbs down for you, then join the club.
My best friend and I share a very honest relationship. Ours is the epitome of how transparent friendships should be and there is literally not a single thing I can think of that we don’t know about each other.
As healthy as a 'no filter' relationship sounds, it also has the ability to put your bond to the test if the problem I’ve been ranting about till now becomes a reality. Unfortunately, my worst nightmare came true a couple of months and I’ve been in this ‘To do or not to do’ dilemma since.I’m not going to sugarcoat this: I am not particularly fond of his girlfriend and not without reason.
I’ve known her as long as he’s known her and if anyone wants my two cents on it, I have no problem in letting the world know that I’m not fond of her. But I’m not here to list out things I don’t like about her but I can’t help but wonder how do I keep living with them.
To make matters worse, it’s like one cannot function without the other and every time I ‘want’ to see him, I ‘have’ to see her. God only knows how many articles I’ve read on ‘How To Think Before You Speak’ and it’s taking a toll on my mental peace.
She tests my patience and my best friend is probably aware of it but doesn’t really know how to deal with this messy situation.
Also, this whole scenario becomes very tricky when you actually have a conscience. Every time you express dislike towards their partner, you can’t help but feel a little guilty because in the end, it’s not really your call to make.So, you swallow that lump of hate and pretend that everything is fine.
But who can filter out those thoughts you have while you’re in the same room as them? Like I mentioned before, it’s a tricky situation and there’s a lot that can be done with and at the same time, there’s so much that we can choose to avoid.
In my experience, whichever road you take it's going to be inconvenient. But how you choose to deal with complications like these speaks volumes about your EQ and how much you’re winning at being an adult.
I decided to take the high road after days of expressing my dislike for his girlfriend but there came a day when it hit me that I might end up losing my closest friend over this.
Did I ever think that my opinions are worth losing my best friend over? Not really. The only thing that keeps me going now is that it’s not like I’ve kept him in the dark about my feelings. Knowing that he knows is enough for me and after a heart-to-heart conversation, we came to the conclusion that we are going to try to make this work.
Accepting that things cannot always go your way is the first thing that leads to a peaceful life but if you’re someone who is hell bent on staying in control, you should make sure that others entertain that. You have the right to be who you are, in control or not. But my advice to anyone would be that no matter what, do not throw important relationships under the bus.
However, we all have our own definition of being an adult and while some of us might believe that expressing your true intentions is the way to go, others could have the idea that keeping quiet is what makes you a grown up.
Which side do you think you play for? Let us know in the comments!