Being addicted to a relationship is neither romantic nor healthy. Being addicted to a relationship is just like any other addiction. It fills you up and deflates you. Any addiction is unhealthy. An addiction to drugs, alcohol, exercise, and even a relationship is not going to end well. And addiction hurts you. It may be what dulls the pain but also brings on more.
Drinking to an alcoholic feels good at the moment but leads to regret, self-hate, vomiting, hangovers, dangerous withdrawals, and long-term health problems. Being addicted to a relationship is the same. The good times may be great, but the bad times are so much worse.
The relationship may be what makes you smile or cheers you up, but it is also what makes you cry, scream, and tears down your self-esteem. It is something that hurts you but that you keep coming back to.
# Does your relationship define you?
Most people would naturally respond ‘no’ to this question at first glance, but take a deeper look. When you and your partner fight, do you feel like the world is crumbling around you?
Do you feel like you have nothing left if this relationship ends? If this relationship fails, you fail? If you answered yes or even maybe to any, you are likely addicted to a relationship.
# Does your relationship overpower your pain?
When we are in pain, we use things to lessen that pain. Some people use drugs, alcohol, or relationships. If you’ve suffered a trauma, even one you’ve buried deep down, this relationship could be your new focus.
The pain and happiness you get from the relationship is a way to overwhelm you, so you can’t think about what is truly causing your pain.
# Does your partner make you nervous?
If you always feel uneasy in the relationship, it isn’t adding goodness to your life. If you walk on eggshells to avoid rustling feathers or constantly worrying about something that might go wrong, it is taking over.
# Do you think you’ll survive without this relationship?
One major sign that you’re addicted to a relationship is your irrational and intense fear of the relationship ending. Even if you are unhappy and want to leave, the idea of that actually happening terrifies you.
# Do you trust your partner?
You can be addicted to a partner and a relationship without trust. In fact, that lack of trust is what makes the foundation so unsteady. Without trust, you overthink and overanalyze your partner’s behaviors, leading you to focus even more on the relationship.
# Do you trust yourself?
Do you trust your own judgment? Odds are that deep down you know this person and this relationship aren’t good for you, but you continue because you must. Do you question every decision you make?
# Have you broken up and gotten back together?
Doing this once and maybe twice isn’t a clear sign of relationship addiction, but if this is a recurring pattern, there is a reason for it. When couples break up, there is a reason and usually a good one.
When you miss each other and get back together and repeat that over and over, it is an addiction. You’re addicted to the pain of the breakup and the high of reuniting.
# Do you choose them over all else?
Do you drop plans with friends and family to be there for them? And do you put what they want before what you want in every situation? Do you do anything for yourself? We all want to make our partners happy, but in an addictive relationship, you put their happiness above your own.
# Do you forgive them for everything?
Bad behavior can be forgiven, but all bad behavior shouldn’t be. In a relationship, you should require a level of respect. But if you know you’re being disrespected yet put up with it and continue to forgive your partner due to a fear of losing them, you are likely addicted to the relationship.
# Are things bad more often than good?
This is a clear sign that you are addicted to the relationship. We aren’t often addicted to a solid relationship that is full of joy. If your relationship has more bad times than good and you still want to stay, there’s a reason.