Relationships should be a two-way street, but it’s not always the case. Most of us like to do things for our partners. Sometimes that kindness leads to expectation and once that starts, it becomes a pattern near impossible to break. Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can really feel disheartening.
The good thing is that you can learn to take a stand and understand how to stop feeling this way. Whether it’s your partner taking advantage of your kindness or your lack of boundaries, it doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship just because you feel unappreciated right now.
We assure you, everyone who has ever been in a relationship or in love has felt this at least once in their dating life.
# Gain self-respect
Working on your self-respect is easier said than done. It doesn’t happen overnight and for some, it takes months to years of therapy. Feeling unappreciated in a relationship sucks and is not better than being single.
Being single and respecting yourself for making the healthy choice may be a shock at first, but it’s what’s best for you and your self-esteem in the long run. Just as you freely give respect and love to others, this should also go to yourself.
If you don’t respect yourself enough, all your other friendships and relationships will become affected.
# Be confident
Don’t just act confident. Sure, sometimes faking it until you make it is the way to go, but actually build up your confidence. Often we let ourselves fall into the pattern of feeling unappreciated in a relationship because we lack the confidence to speak up.
When you’re confident, you can speak up about your feelings without the fear that you’ll be invalidated or criticized. Most importantly, you know within yourself that you’re worthy enough to be in a relationship where your efforts are reciprocated.
When you’re confident, you can show your partner that you won’t stand for this while still letting them know you love them.
# Just say “no”
Again, it sounds so simple. But, this is how the pattern breaks. A conversation can improve things for a while. Your self-respect and confidence are what help you move forward. Saying “no” is what changes everything.
The reason why people-pleasers, selfless people, and those who don’t have confidence often feel unappreciated is their inability to say “no”. “No” isn’t a bad word. Just because you decline doesn’t mean you don’t love them anymore.
It just means you’re sticking to your boundaries and respecting yourself enough. So, as hard as it can be and as rash as it can seem, stop doing all you do. Stop waiting to eat dinner because you are waiting for your partner to get home.
# Change your mindset
We often have the wrong mindset going into a relationship. Again, this doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid or that you’re wrong for feeling this way. However, changing your mindset and perspective will do so much when you’re feeling unappreciated in a relationship.
People don’t love the same way you do, and it’s unrealistic to assume otherwise. Change your mindset about relationships and love, and this could help significantly.
So instead of thinking they don’t appreciate you enough, try to see what other things they do. Maybe they constantly tell you they love you, run errands for you, and do household chores. Again, sometimes it’s really all a matter of love language.
# Talk to your partner
You can’t keep complaining that you’re feeling unappreciated in a relationship when you haven’t talked to your partner just yet. If anything, this should be at the top of your list when you’re feeling this way. Instead of overthinking everything, open up to your partner.
They can reassure you that your thoughts probably aren’t true and that they’ll try harder to appreciate your efforts. Communication is key in a relationship, so how can you expect to feel better when you’re not even telling your partner how you feel?