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Does an emotional affair count as cheating?

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The Times Of India
05th March, 2021 19:00 IST

Marriages are plain complicated. It’s not just love that binds two people together, but other pillars like understanding, compromise and trust are what pulls it up. But what happens when there's no spark left between partners in their marriage anymore? They start focusing their minds on other things, or more like ‘other people’, which somehow, in some cases, lead to extramarital affairs or infidelity .

As analysed critically, people find solace in other people when they are unhappy at home or aren’t necessarily - emotionally and physically -intimate with their partners. The lack of intimacy and love in the relationship can leave a dent in the relationship, as it is one of the foremost things people crave so much.

Some people are subconsciously hit with the guilt in their minds and do not allow themselves to commit infidelity. However, even after several efforts, they just can’t help but get drawn to other people, in an emotional way. Take this in mind: they aren’t indulging in anything sexual .

Which brings us to this question, is emotional affair counted as cheating ?

This is quite tricky, but if definitely defined, yes. An emotional affair is greatly considered to be cheating. People have a common misconception that sexual affairs are far worse, but in reality, for some, it is nothing more than just a sexual act. It doesn’t involve love or emotional intimacy. Whereas, if you grow to like or love someone else other than your partner, it is ethically a lot worse than sexual affairs.

Such a need to confide or gain support from someone else only arises when you feel attracted to that person or relate to them mentally and intellectually. Sometimes, factors like similar thinking patterns, values, beliefs and opinions play a huge role in attracting someone. And so, if the married person doesn’t feel the same love, or is opposed by their spouse’s opinions and views, they will generally turn towards someone they can gel along with.

Some blaring signs of emotional affair include:

1. You end up sharing a lot of intimate details about your personal life with that person. In fact, you love sharing it with them because they share the same emotional energy as you.

2. You’ll find yourself trying to groom fashionably or according to their taste. You look for ways to impress them, or even get a compliment from them, which in turn, makes you incredibly happy.

3. You feel guilty about sharing things with the person that you could never express to your spouse. You’re afraid of your spouse spotting you two together anywhere, even on a busy street, right in the middle of a sunny afternoon.

4. You prefer to keep the time spent with that person a secret. Secret texts, calls and even changing the password of your phone can mean, you don’t want your spouse to know about the insane amount of time you’re spending on talking to the other person.

5. You feel dependent on the emotional satisfaction the other person gives you. Often, if you happen to not speak for a day, you’ll find your mind and heart yearning to spend time with that person. The little specks of happiness that person gives you is immense.

These signs indicate you are slowly getting way too emotionally attached to the 'other' person, rather than with your spouse. This is cheating. Allowing your mind to put a stop to this will not only be relieving you of your guilt, but will save you from destroying your marriage further. It can be really hard to stop. But with a little effort, communication and determination, you can.

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