Query: My wife doesn’t trust me and that’s made my married life intolerable. I am tired of explaining every outing, every meeting/message which involves a woman. Even my friends know she is very insecure and have started distancing themselves from me. I want to end this marriage . What should I do?
Answer by Dr Rachna K Singh: Hi, thanks for writing to us.
Both individuals in a relationship should feel wanted, respected, and safe. When there is considerable insecurity in the partnership, this holy grail of healthy relationship qualities is shattered. Relationship insecurity can present itself in a variety of ways, ranging from jealousy to dominating behaviour. Insecurities between spouses may or may not be justified, but they lead to unhealthy behaviours regardless of the reasoning.
In many cases, a lack of self-love is at the root of relationship anxieties. If one partner harbours detrimental limiting ideas, such as fear of failure or the belief that they are unworthy of love, they will be unable to fully trust – and trust is the bedrock of any relationship. It can also be caused by one’s surroundings, since unpredictability or upheaval in one’s daily life can induce worry and uncertainty about everyday happenings.
When there’s a conflict in a relationship getting departed is not the only solution. It can be resolved by many ways like:
~Identify the real problem first - Empower your partner to communicate openly so that you can work together to figure out what the real issue is.
~Satisfy each other’s requirements - Insecure feelings in a relationship are frequently a sign that certain needs aren't being addressed and know what are those requirements of your partner.
~Offer support - Inquire about your partner's support needs in order for them to feel more secure
~Spend some quality time together - Spending quality time together would be crucial in any relationship, but it is especially important when one spouse is insecure because it reminds both spouses of why they should be together.
~Assist her in feeling safer by reassuring her of your love and devotion.
~Encourage her to get counselling and to be aware of her mental health.
~Recognize that such traits exist in people for a purpose. Her past is certainly littered with real-life incidents that jeopardised her safety.
~Take professional help if the above mentioned ways don’t work in your relationship. And later you can think About ending your relationship with your wife.
Hope this helps.
For further queries, feel free to book an appointment with us.
Stay home stay safe.
Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh, HOD - Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon, Relationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management Expert
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