Query: Whenever we have sex, I start thinking about getting pregnant and loose the moment. I don’t want to convey this to my boyfriend as he might freak out and break up. I’m unable to understand whether I want a baby or am I scared of getting pregnant. It is hampering my sex life . Help
Response by Dr Rachna K Singh: Hi, I can understand it must be difficult for you to have such feelings/thoughts/fears. Every relationship has some fears. It’s normal to have fears. But you should not be in fear mode, it’s important to cope with them for your mental and emotional health. Following are some ways to deal with your issue:
Own your fears/thoughts/feelings. No one will own your fears/thoughts/feelings for you, you have to accept that nearly everything you struggle with is within your power to change and no one else’s.
Approach your partner with an open mind. Speak assertively to your partner. Being assertive in your relationship will make you be seen/heard because then your partner knows exactly how you feel.
Consider couple therapy, it can improve communication with your partner and define expectations in your relationship and build trust in your relationship.
Do yourself and your relationship a favour and speak, communicate. Communication is essentially the most important ingredient of a happy relationship.
Remember, someone who truly cares about you or wants you in their life- be it a friend, family member, lover or otherwise will try to understand your fears/feelings.
If you think your relationship is having issues because of your fears/feelings/thoughts then seek help from a counsellor who may be able to address your concerns.
Again, no relationship is perfect and individuals in a relationship often have their own set of fears and insecurities that they can work on with their partners with time and consistent efforts.
Hope this helps. Feel free to get in touch with us if you need more assistance.
Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh is HOD - Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon, Relationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management Expert.
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