Why do people have the urge to go through their partner's phone?

It’s not uncommon for people to snoop through their partner’s phone and Shalini Bharadwaj was no different. It wasn’t easy for her to overcome the embarrassment of going through her husband’s phone without his knowledge but still, she did it regularly. Every time her husband changed his password, she would coax him to share it with her.

Surprisingly, he knew what Shalini was doing and he never complained. Unlike her husband, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of his or her partner combing through his phone.

According to a study conducted by the University of British Columbia (UBC) and the University of Lisbon, most people snooped through their partner’s or friends’ phones mainly because of jealousy and with the intention to control their partner’s relationship with others. Interestingly, not everyone objects to their spouse, lover or friends snooping through their phones. But for others, such behaviour can be a real deal-breaker. The above-mentioned study examined how some relationships survived or crumbled because of the snooping behaviour of partners.

The study was conducted on a small-scale but the researchers made some very interesting observations. They approached 102 people and requested them to share incidents of phone snooping by their partners or by them. And then they were asked to reveal what happened to the relationship after their partner discovered their act. Almost 45 per cent of the participants said the relationship ended while 55 per cent stated that “the relationship survived the prying.”

In a report published in ScienceDaily, the study author and professor of computer science at UBC, Ivan Beschastnikh said, “In cases where the relationship ended, it was either because the phone owner felt their trust was betrayed or the relationship was also experiencing difficulties. Another main reason was the relationship was not that strong or important to begin with."

It is evident that most people with trust issues resort to such behaviour. According to senior consultant psychologist Shweta Singh, "Going through a partner's phone without his or her knowledge is nothing but spying, and it can become a habit. If the habit goes out of control, it might even turn into an obsession and then it becomes very difficult to resist the urge to know every move the partner makes. For some people who have trust issues spying or snooping can become a compulsion. In many cases, people find that they cannot control this habit even after trying their best to stop it."

So, next time you find yourself snooping on your partner and going through his or her phone secretly, try to think about the consequences it might have on the relationship. It's never too late to change, right?