Just not cricket

Bowled by the nephews: How Uncle got himself on a sticky wicket

Uncle was quietly celebrating India winning the 2nd limited over game that gave the Boys in Blue a 2-0 lead. “Enjoy it for now, but remember this on days there is no happy ending,” he said.

Nephew 1: Uncle, you are not celebrating.

You are raining on our parade!

Uncle: I AM celebrating but there are three games to go ...

Nephew 2: You are not celebrating loudly enough!

Uncle: But I like celebrating quietly ...

Nephew 3: You should be loud and hysterical! Otherwise you are being negative ...

Uncle: I’m not negative. I just don’t like being emotional ...

Nephew 1: You should be emotional! Otherwise go join a satsang!

Nephew 3: You should show josh. How’s the josh? Where’s the josh?

Uncle: Well, Josh Hazelwood wasn’t playing.

Nephew 2: See? You have no josh! You are anti-India and pro-Pakistan!

Uncle: But where does #Pakistan come in? We were playing #Australia.

Nephew 3: Doesn’t matter. You should tweet that #SurgicalStrike #3 and #4 were successful and we shot two Pakistani drones and sank three Pakistani ships.

Uncle: There was a surgical strike #3 and #4?

Nephew 2: Yes! Tweet that and end the tweet with “#JaiHind!”

Uncle: But I was tweeting about a cricket match ...

Nephew 3: You should tweet about surgical strike. Otherwise you are a #PakPremiPatrakaar ... a Pak lover!

Uncle: Yes, I love #MysorePak but ...

Nephew 2: See? I told you he is antinational. Let’s #ExposePakLovers

Nephew 3: Yes! Let’s expose #ProPakMatchFixers!

Uncle: Well, I do like Pak-oras

Nephew 1: You are a poster boy for Pakistan!

Nephew 2: You are a sickular libtard presstitute!

Nephew 3: You should be banned from India and put on a terror watch list!

Uncle: All because a few things I like to eat begin with the letters P-A-K?

Nephew 3: No, because you do not celebrate our cricket win hysterically enough.

Nephew 2: And you don’t tweet about surgical strikes!

Nephew 1: And you eat Mysore-PAK and PAKoras!

Chidanand.Rajghatta@timesgroup.com