Did Wives Really Tie Rakhi To Husbands? A Forgotten Tradition

Today, Raksha Bandhan is a sweet, familiar ritual. A sister ties a rakhi, the brother promises protection, sweets are exchanged, and selfies are clicked. It’s a festival wrapped in nostalgia and WhatsApp forwards. But centuries ago, Raksha Bandhan had another face, quieter, bolder, and far more layered. It was a time when wives tied rakhis to their husbands. And no, it wasn’t about confusing roles. It was about reaffirming a sacred promise.

A Ritual Born of Need, Not Norms

This isn’t a myth or misstep it’s history. The rakhi wasn’t always a sibling bond. In times of political alliances and social vulnerability, it became a symbol of duty and protection. Like the story of Rani Karnavati sending a rakhi to Mughal emperor Humayun not out of affection, but in trust. Trust that he would defend her people. He took the thread seriously. Because it wasn’t about blood, it was about honour.

When Wives Reached for the Rakhi

Marriage, in earlier times, wasn’t built on candlelight dinners. It was duty wrapped in rituals. For a young bride, often far from home, the rakhi became a gentle reminder: “I choose to honour you. I trust you to honour me in return, not just as husband, but as protector of my dignity, my body, my life.” It wasn’t turning husbands into brothers. It was elevating the relationship beyond desire. Protection, not possession. Respect, not dominance.

Where This Tradition Lived

This quiet but powerful practice lived mostly in royal courts and rural traditions:

• Among Rajputs, where marriages were political chess moves.
• In tribal belts of Madhya Pradesh, Odisha, and Chhattisgarh, where bonds weren't always defined by family trees.
• In Gujarat and parts of Maharashtra, where rakhi was spiritual, tied to gods, trees, and yes, husbands too.
• It was never mainstream, but wherever it existed, it was respected.

Why It Faded

So what changed?

Colonial Cleanup: When the British arrived, they brought their own legal ideas about marriage and family. Many Indian customs were seen as too “messy” or “strange” for the Western mold. So, slowly, older rituals like tying a rakhi to a husband—were either erased or sidelined.

Romance Took Over: As modern love stories took over, marriage stopped being about alliances and turned into something personal and passionate. A rakhi, once a symbol of protection and loyalty even between spouses began to seem out of place in the age of "one true love."

Symbols Lost Meaning: People started taking symbols too literally. Rakhi meant “for brothers,” right? So tying it to a husband felt odd. But in clinging to surface meanings, we lost the layered beauty behind the ritual’s original intent.

Patriarchal Rewrites: Once a ritual that gave women power and voice, rakhi across relationships was slowly branded “confusing.” It didn’t align with neat patriarchal boxes and so it quietly disappeared from public life.

A Thread of Power, Not Just Ritual

In its truest form, Raksha Bandhan was never about roles, it was about responsibility. Whether between siblings, friends, or spouses, it asked one simple thing: Will you protect me when I’m vulnerable?

And that question is still relevant today.

What This Teaches Us Now

In a world where relationships often begin with fireworks and fade into silence, the forgotten rakhi teaches us to ask deeper questions:

• Do we feel emotionally safe with our partners?
• Does love come with loyalty, not just in public, but in private?
• Is there a promise of protection, of dignity, respect, and presence?

Because rakhi isn’t just a thread, it’s a vow. One that speaks louder than words, when tied with intention.

So This Raksha Bandhan…

Whether you tie it on your brother’s wrist, or reflect on its meaning alone, remember: it’s not just about tradition. It’s about trust. And trust, in any relationship, is always worth celebrating.